The City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember
by Philusuphus Pinkwinker
Summary: A parody of the City of Ember. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. Please review!
1. Assignment Bust

The City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember

A Parody

By: Philusuphus Pinkwinker

Assignment Bust

In the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember, the food is always bland. It tastes like nothing. Even something that looks like it will take you through a sensation of flavors has a nonexistent taste inside your mouth. It was preciously this nonexistent taste that Ina Mayleek experienced as she bit into a round fruit behind her desk in the 12 year old room. If it even was a fruit. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. Ina looked around her classroom between bites. It was assignment day. In the front of the room there was a banner that read "Goodbye and Good Riddance". There was a table at the side of the room where students, parents, or teachers could take refreshments. Everyone was happy that their 12-year sentence of classroom torture was over. Assignment day was the fateful day when all children age 12 were assigned a job to do in the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember. Sometimes there were a lot of bad jobs, like "messenger" or "athlete". Other times there was a possibility to get a job that made one highly respected in society such as "bathroom cleaner" or "pencil sharpener.

"You shouldn't be sneaking food in on a day like this," Ina's friend Izzie Hipster informed her.

Izzie Hipster wore a bright yellow T-shirt with a peace sign in the middle. On her forehead, she wore a large blue headband that covered her large orange afro. She wore earrings that had similar peace signs on them. Ina thought that Izzie should be worried about her appearance and not on Ina's eating habits and she wasn't afraid to tell Izzie so.

"You look like you've just gotten electrocuted by a volcano, and no one likes you. Peace is stupid. Go away," Ina said between bites. Izzie fell silent.

Their teacher, Mrs. Cauliflower, checked her watch and looked annoyed. Mayor Cola was late for the ceremony as always. Each year he made up an excuse about why he was late. Last year he had to rescue an old lady's kitten from out of a tree. The year before that he was saving some orphans from a burning building. Mayor Cola wasn't fooling anyone, though. Everyone knows about his addiction to soda, and every year he was late because he just had to have one more bottle.

About a minute later the plump Mayor Cola burst into the room with a half-empty glass of cola in his hand. His body guards followed, strong and muscular with their chests' puffed out and their sunglasses over their eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm late Mrs. Cauliflower. I had to go stop a kidnapper from taking a small child from her mother," Mayor Cola announced loudly so we could all bask in his greatness.

"How very heroic of you Mayor Cola," Mrs. Cauliflower said sarcastically.

"Yes. I would love to tell you about it, but I think we should start the ceremony," Mayor Cola muttered as he lugged his fat over to stand behind the podium that was set up for him. "Now students, as you probably already know this is a very exciting time for the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember. New young people entering the work force will provide much needed help to many parts of the city. Imagine the places you will go! The people you will see! Many of you will get to see lots of things you normally wouldn't get to see in The City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember! A select few of you will get to explore the entire 500 feet of the city! " Mayor Cola tried to put his best happy and excited look on his face, but everyone saw that he was signaling to the guard on his left to get him another soda.

The first person that was called to have the rest of his life decided for him was Nate Albacore. The mayor called his name with a fixed smile and a curved brow. Nate looked like the mayor except Nate was a little shorter and a little skinnier. They looked almost as if they could have been father and son. He boldly stepped up to the mayor and picked a strip of paper from the small plastic bag the mayor held out to him. When he read what was on the strip of paper his smile quickly faded.

"Read it aloud, son," The mayor demanded ironically .

"Soda Provider," Nate muttered.

"Ah, yes. That is quite splendid." The mayor exclaimed "You will spend your days delivering soda to me from the soda storage rooms whenever the need arises. I am sure that you will love being the one of the mayor's personal slaves- I mean employees!

Nate waddled back to his seat and slumped down in it. The mayor picked the next person to come up.

"Izzie Hipster!"The mayor shouted.

Izzie stepped up to the bag and picked from it. She announced to the world that she would spend the rest of her life as pop singer and dancer. Izzie moon walked back to her seat.

"Darn," She muttered to Ina."I really wanted to be a secretary."

Several more people came up. Ina did not pay attention to them. She was too busy chowing down on the second fruit she had stored away in her coat pocket. This one was green. While still bland, it tasted slightly like pocket lint.

"Ina Mayleak!" The mayor boomed.

"What!" Ina shouted. "Can't you see I'm bust eating. Gosh, just leave me alone for five seconds, people! I mean, first your all like 'Oh, Ina, go do this!' and then your all like 'Oh, Ina, go do that!' and then you just keep demanding things and demanding things and you never give a poor girl a break to secretly eat a couple pieces of fruit every once in a while. Geez! I'm not your personal servant! I have dreams to! I don't want to live the rest of my life just waiting for you people to call me up to do something for you! Don't you see I have life goals? Just please give me one day of peace!"

The room became very silent.

Mrs. Cauliflower went up to Ina and whispered something in her ear.

"Oh!" exclaimed Ina."You just want me to go up there and pick a paper from that basket that will decide the rest of my life? Why didn't you just say so?"

Ina strolled over to the front of the room, laughing and mumbling things as she went. On her way up she tripped and fell over an outstretched leg. She quickly stumbled back up and ran the rest of the way up over laughter and jeers. Ina put her hand into the deep, dark, and domestic bag that was in front of her. She pulled out a thin piece of paper.

"Let's see what we have here. Ha ha ha…. I sure hope I get messenger! Okay here we go I'm going to do it! I'm going to look at the paper!" Ina flipped the paper over and read it aloud. "Pipeworks Labo- oh son of a businessman. Well, this is awkward. It's kind of like that time when your with all of your popular friends and you're talking about popular things and some new girl comes in and is all like 'Hey guys what are we talking about' and you don't really want to talk to this new kid because her teeth are all crooked and her hair is a tangled mess and she doesn't deserve to hang out with perfect people like you and your group of friends. In this situation my job kind of like the new kid and I'm kind of like both me and my group of friends because of course I don't have any friends except for that volcano afro girl and no one likes her right?" Ina muttered.

If you haven't noticed this before, Ina has a tendency to talk a lot.

Several more names were called. Ina wasn't paying attention to them either. She was too busy sulking about the rest of her life. It should be noted that she does not realize that her she has ruined her public image for as long as she walks the earth. Did you know that Assignment Day is broadcasted live to every television channel in the city? Now no one will ever respect Ina again. Ina, however, is too dumb to realize this. So the only reason she is sulking is because she is going to have a terrible career and will probably die before any of her classmates do due to some type of lung disease. Really stinks to be her right?

That's exactly what Drool Sparrow was thinking as he heard the mayor call more names. The more he looked at Ina, the more his confidence skyrocketed. He hoped that maybe bad luck had effected someone else for a change. Drool is definitely the epitome of bad luck. Before he was born, his parents were told by the doctors he was going to be a girl. Because of this, his parents bought him all these girly things. They bought him a pink crib, pink clothes, a pink bow, and painted his baby room pink. Needless to say, when Drool was born his parents got an unpleasant little shock. So unpleasant, in fact, that they tried to give the poor newborn back to the doctor. When the Sparrows finally exited the hospital, Mrs. Sparrow thrust the newborn into Mr. Sparrow's arms and ran toward their two person bike screaming "Good luck with that thing! Goodbye forever!"Mrs. Sparrow then tried to ride the bike. The only problems were these:

Mr. Sparrow usually rode in the front of the bicycle because Mrs. Sparrow doesn't know how to steer it without crashing it.

Mrs. Sparrow rode at a high speed into a chainsaw factory and crashed into the machine that made the sharp, spiky part.

The rest of the day included another visit to the hospital and the cleaning of the newborn's mouth which was covered in drool. At the end of the day Mr. Sparrow was a single father and named his saliva producing machine Drool.

For Drool's tenth birthday he was given a puppy. For a whole week all the puppy did was eat, sleep, poop, and destroy furniture. On the eighth day since the puppy arrived at the Sparrows' house, it died. The veterinarian concluded that the puppy was allergic to Drool and had slowly been dying the entire week.

Today Drool figured that the world had already dished out all of its bad luck on Ina so he would get to have a good day for once. Drool was wrong. He listened as the mayor called his name and stepped up to the basket. He pulled out the small sheet of paper and read it aloud.

"Messenger," Drool said in a cracked voice.

Drool's bottom lip began to quiver. He let out small whimpering sounds from his mouth. Mrs. Cauliflower ran to the front of the room and tried to calm Drool down, but it was too late. Drool had already exploded into a chorus of sobs and depressed screams.

"Get it away! Get it away!" The mayor screeched. "Get that thing away from me!"

"I DON'T WANNA BE A MESSANGER!" Drool cried. "I WANNA HELP THE CITY AND BE A HERO!"

"Sorry son, but if the city needed help, it wouldn't come from you," The mayor told Drool. This only led to more screams and sobs.

Finally the two security guards carried Drool out of the room and onto the steps outside the school house.

"Well, I guess that's the last of them," The mayor said. "Goodbye children. You start work tomorrow." The mayor waddled out of the school house as fast as his fat legs would carry him. It was time for another soda.

Izzie and Ina left the schoolhouse together and chatted.

"Wow," Izzie said. "I thought I had a bad job, but compared to you I've hit the jackpot. I'll try to be encouraging and optimistic, but it really stinks to be you and your life from now on is probably going to be horrible."

"Thanks," Ina replied sarcastically.

"You're welcome. It's a good thing you have friends like me to help you through these tough situations."

"I guess so," Ina replied drearily.

The two girls looked over to the schoolhouse porch where Drool was starting to walk toward them.

"Oh no, the weird crybaby kid is coming over here. Got to run. Bye!" Izzie mumbled. If there was one thing Ina knew about Izzie, it's that she will always be at Ina's side through and through.

"Hey Ina," Drool said in his high, squeaky voice.

"Hello Drool," Ina said through clenched teeth. She didn't blame Izzie for running. Drool was a total freak.

"Yesterday I had a dream about you," Drool informed her.

"You did?" Ina asked more sounding more exclamatory than interrogative.

"Yeah. You were there with the puppies and rainbows and flowers that are usually in my dreams. I gave you a flower and you complemented on my bulging muscles and rock hard abs."

"Your bulging muscles and rock hard abs?" Ina asked.

Drool blushed.

"Well, in my dreams I have bulging muscles and rock hard abs," Drool explained.

A thought came upon Ina. Drool had something Ina wants. Ina wants a job that does not have a risk of death. Drool has one. Drool has dreams about Ina. Maybe Ina could use these dreams to her advantage.

Ever since they started kindergarten Ina knew that Drool had feelings for her. On their first day of kindergarten, Drool had toddled over to Ina, who was playing with a train, and drooled all over her favorite blouse. Drool had then said "Drool like you!" and promptly pushed Ina to the floor. He had quite a way of expressing himself.

"I've been having dreams about you to Drool," Ina lied with a smug smile on her face. She moved closer to Drool. "In my dreams, you are a magical prince that saves me from evil dragons and pirates and robots."

"_Robots?" _Drool thought to himself. "_Just roll with it bro,"_ said another thought. "_This is exactly what you want to happen."_

"I'm sad Drool," Ina whispered as she put on her best fake sad face.

"Why would that be?" Drool inquired.

"Because I got a bad job. Can you do me a really, really, big favor and trade jobs with me?" Ina asked, still trying to act sad.

"Well, um…" Drool sputtered

"#^$*^#$*?"Ina whined.

"Well, okay. But only because you said please without using any letters," Drool said

"Thanks, Drool," sang Ina as she skipped away. Ina may not be the smartest light bulb in The City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember, but Drool had to be the dimmest.

Drool stood in front of the schoolhouse for two hours after his encounter with Ina. This was a long enough time for his brain to formulate 2 thoughts.

1."Ina is totally into me"

2. "I must be the brightest light bulb in The City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember."


	2. Chapter 2 Long Chapter Name

**A Message for the Mayor that may or may not be an Influential Plot Point Disguised as an Everyday Task**

Ina skipped home without a worry on her mind. All was well. She had manipulated the small mind of a friend and tricked him into willingly accepting the most dangerous and least beneficial job in the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember. At least, she thought Drool was her friend. Sometimes she just didn't know.

One day in first grade Drool toddled up to Ina and said: 'Drool no like you no more!' He then handed 20,000 dollars in 100 dollar bills. Ina decides she liked Drool better when he "no liked" Ina.

Then, in fourth grade Drool went up to Ina and said "Drool want you to be girlfriend! But Drool still no like you!" when Ina explained to Drool that she was nine and didn't need a boyfriend, he handed her 50,000 dollars in 20 dollar bills and walked away. Ina still wonders what he would have done if she had said yes to him.

Now finished with seventh grade and off to enter the world, Ina still doesn't know if Drool considers her a friend. All she knows about him is that he still has feelings for Ina; however he chooses to express them. When Ina thought about it she realized that this was the first time that Drool had talked to her without using referring to himself in the third person. Drool was a confusing person; Ina could not understand how he wanted to be Ina's boyfriend but not her friend. It doesn't matter. Ina doesn't like Drool that way. The ancient poster of a boy that looks like he just had a bowl over his head will be her one true love. She found it while exploring the city dump and it has been in her room ever since.

Her grandmother told her a story of a long time ago when people thought having bowl haircuts made them attractive. Ina thought this was ridiculous. What's next? Are people going to start putting feathers in their hair?

"Ina, Ina! My dog just died and I need somebody to talk to!" Shouted the Greenhouse worker Kooky as Ina walked past.

"Oh, cool. I hope you find someone. I just got the job of messenger!" Ina shouted back.

Ina's grandmother is a frail old lady and a faithful shopkeeper. She happily sold all the miscellaneous objects necessary to keep their family well fed and happy. Ina, her grandmother and her baby sister Shocky live together on the 18th floor of Apartment F. This was also the location of their shop. Since the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional ember was only 500 feet big, everyone had to be crammed into a few tall apartment buildings. There were five in all. They were called Apartment F, Apartment Q, Apartment X, Apartment Z, and Apartment Michael Jackson. In Apartment F lived all of the shopkeepers and their families. In Apartment Q lived all the people that thought "q" should not be a letter, or believed other radical things and their families. In Apartment X lived all the secret agents and government workers and their families. In Apartment Z lived all the retired old people and their spouses. I say spouses because retired people usually don't have families. There was also a jail in Apartment Z. This was because the Hangovers, who had invented the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember, thought that the criminals would see the senior citizens and how tired they seemed to be, causing the criminals to grow tired themselves and be too weak to try to escape. In Apartment Michael Jackson lived all the pop singers and dancers, anyone that had ever had plastic surgery, anyone who could do the moonwalk freakishly well, or anyone that could play an instrument and their families. If you did not fit under any of these, categories you had several choices:

1. Become a radical

2. Learn to so the moonwalk freakishly well

3. Learn to play an instrument

4. Open a shop

5. Become a hobo

Because the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember only has one street, the homeless people usually don't have much room. The one street, LOLXDROFL Street, averages about 13 homeless people per square inch. This did not seem like a legitimate alternative for Ina, so Ina was now formulating in her mind a theory that some salads may not be good for you. She would be sent to Apartment Q when she turned eighteen. This way she could be a messenger and not live on the street.

Ina ran to Apartment F. She reached the lobby and was met by two choices: stairs or elevator. Ina thought for a minute. Stairs because she needs to get in shape for her job to better benefit the city's citizens or Elevator because she was lazy? After thinking about it, the choice was easy. Ina pressed a button and stepped inside the elevator shaft. She reached floor eighteen and opened the door to room 42.

As soon as Ina turned her back to close the door behind her she heard the signature _thadung_ sound of a knife digging into a wall inches from your ear. Ina turned and saw her little sister Shockey standing in front of her.

"Why are you playing with knives again, Shockey?" Ina said as she picked Shockey up in her arms. "You know Grandma and I don't want you to do that."

"Maybe it's because I hate you and want to kill you, you idiot! I mean… um… Ga Ga!" Shockey muttered.

"Oh, Shockey! You are the cutest little thing ever to walk the Earth!"

"Let go of me or I'll choke you with your own vocal chords! I mean… Goo Goo." Shockey mumbled.

"Have you seen Grandma? Have you, little cutie?" Ina cooed.

"Don't bother her she's about to fall asleep. This will allow me to poison her with a liquid I call Albaga, which I invented myself. It will slowly tear apart her insides until she collapses on the floor, unable to breathe. BWHAHAHAHA!"

"You are such a great scientist! You're going to make a big important discovery when you grow up! Goodbye Shockey!" Ina said as she gently lowered Shockey to the ground.

She found her grandmother in her bedroom. She was sleeping peacefully. The sun was shining through the curtains and it looked like the most peaceful thing in the world.

_Enough of this!_ Ina thought as she shook her grandmother to wake her up.

"Grandmother! Wake up! I have something important to tell you!" Ina said.

"Wha- What is it dear," Ina's Grandmother asked. She was still half asleep.

"Hmmmmmmm… I forgot. Oh well. You looked really peaceful when you slept. Kind of like a baby. That kid Drool was a baby in our class today. He didn't get the job he wanted so he started crying and they had to kick him out of the school. This only made him cry more. Oh! That's right. I wanted to tell you that at the end of the day Drool traded jobs with me! Pipeworks laborer for messenger! I didn't really want to be a messenger, no one does. But it's better than Pipeworks laborer. Everything's better than Pipeworks laborer!"

There Ina went again with the Motormouth.

"That's wonderful dear." Said Ina's Grandmother sleepily. "NOW GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!"

Ina stumbled out of her grandmother's bedroom and into the kitchen where Shockey sat drawing blueprints for a Yugoslavian Death Trap. Their mother and father had both died on the same day. They had been invited to the 1st annual "_Let's Find out if Electricity and Water Mix!"_ party on floor 27 of apartment Q. During the party, everyone jumped in and swam around in the indoor swimming pool while the two hosts tossed various electronic devices into the water. At the end of the party all of the guests were electrocuted and the hosts were arrested for 1st degree murder.

Ina walked over to the middle of the kitchen floor where Shockey was sitting.

"What are you doing there, Shockey?" Ina asked playfully.

"Planning your demise," Shockey grunted without looking up.

"I'm going to be a messenger, Shockey! I'm probably not going to die of black lung disease! Isn't that great?"

"You will die of black lung disease _tonight_ if you don't get out of my sight right now," Shockey grumbled.

"Well okay Mr. Grumpy Wumpy," Ina muttered happily. How could anyone not like cute, adorable, harmless Shockey?

The messengers' headquarters was on floor 14 of Apartment F. Ina arrived an hour early, found that the door was locked, went back home, went to sleep, woke up, took away Shockey's assault rifle, ate breakfast, and arrived back at the messengers' headquarters 20 minutes late to find all of the messengers sitting at a round table. All of them wore shiny red messengers' jackets.

"Your late rookie," A tall man with a long mustache informed her.

"Thanks," Ina told him.

A taller, slimmer girl with a badge on her jacket that said "I IZ DA BOSS!" cleared her throat. Ina took it that she was the captain of the messengers.

"Listen up team!" She began loudly. "Since we have a new messenger today it is necessary to go through the rules of the messengers. What is your name, little lady? Lina Mayfleet?"

"No ma'am. Ina Mayleek" Ina replied weakly. She was scared of this lady. She had large, frizzy, and wild blonde hair and wide eyes that made you think she did something wrong.

"Okay then, but I like Lina Mayfleet better. It makes Ina Mayleek seem like a bad spin-off name. Anyway, I'm supposed to tell you the rules. First rule, all messengers have to use the stairs when delivering messages to citizens in apartments." The captain of the messengers said matter- of- factly.

"But, there's only like, six of us!" Ina protested.

"SHHHHHH! NOBODY ASKED YOU IF YOU WANTED TO CHANGE THE RULES! THESE ARE THE RULES YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW AND YOU WILL FOLLOW THEM WEATHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" The head messenger screamed. "By the way, my name is Captain Feedme, dear. Pleased to meet you."

"Whatever," Ina muttered. This job is terrible.

"Second rule: All messengers must wear their super awesome red jackets to work every morning," Feedme stated. Feedme handed one to Ina. Ina opened her mouth to protest the rule but closed it again when she received a death stare from Feedme.

"Third Rule: All messengers are lame unless they are part of the Super Cool Awesome Epic Messengers Club. The Super Cool Awesome Epic Messengers Club is awesome, super, cool, and epic." Feedme said enthusiastically.

"Who's in it?" Ina asked.

"Everyone except you," boasted the tall man with the long moustache.

"What?"

"Yes," he said. "If you're not in it we don't talk to you. We're only talking to you now because it's your first day."

"How do I get in?" Ina asked excitedly. This was her chance to be popular!

"You have to go to the top of Apartment Q and scream: "Messengers are better than you!" said the tall man.

"Sounds easy enough," Ina admitted.

"Then you jump off the apartment," said a short squat lady that did not look like a messenger.

"WHAT? WHY?" Ina screamed.

"Ha-ha. Just kidding. Why would we make you jump off a building? Gosh, you rookie's are idiots," the squat lady said.

"Now everyone get to your stations and get out of my sight. Ina, your station is the Apartment Q lobby." Feedme informed her. "Go to the top at 5:00 this afternoon when everybody is going home. And don't fall like the last one."

The Apartment Q lobby was painted orange. Many sofas and chairs occupy the middle of the lobby. It had pictures on its walls of all the great radicals who had theories that did not correspond with outside society. There was one picture of Dr. Jeremy X. Listentome. He had suggested that maybe the City of Light Bulbs with the Occasional Ember should send a search team with lights into the Communist Areas, which were the area of darkness that surrounded the city. To the left of him was a picture of Daniel Q. Potatosandwich. He suggested that we blow up the Communist Area with paint grenades. Ina thought that Daniel, unlike Jeremy, really was a radical. Since the mayor decides where you live, you could be considered a radical even if everyone in the city believes your theory.

Ina stood in the center of the lobby for about ten minutes before a tall man with a long moustache and a red coat motioned for her to come closer.

"Go to the mayor's office and tell him this message: Delivery at 8:00 from Loopy and it's definitely not smuggled goods from the storage rooms that you are not supposed to have and that the citizens are not supposed to know about."

"Kay," Ina replied.

"Good. Go now, Ina. I need it there fast," The man handed Ina two silver coins. He looked familiar, too familiar.

"Wait, aren't you a messenger too? How else would you know my name? Why don't you just deliver the message yourself?"

"Shush! Go now Ina!"

At this point, if I had not already told you that she wasn't, you would probably think that Ina is a smart girl. Because I know everything, I know that she isn't. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that this man was wearing a red coat, Ina would have had no idea he was the same man from the meeting. So don't go around thinking that Ina is smart because she's not. She's stupid.

The mayor's office is in Apartment F and on floor 2. When Ina got to the staircase at Apartment F, she was already tired from her 100 foot walk over from Apartment Q. She looked up at the 1 flight of stairs she needed to go up to get to the mayor's office and scoffed at it. It looked so close. Ina began to climb up the stairs.

But as she climed, the second floor looked farther away and she felt more tired. She convinced herself to keep going, and through perseverance, she finally made it to the top. She then collapsed from exhaustion and vomited all over the second floor platform. There she lay, paralyzed, until an hour later when a lady used the stairs. At the site of Ina, she screamed and whipped out her phone. She dialed a number.

"Hello? Yes, is this Animal Control? Um… there's this dead thing in the stairwell in Apartment F. It's lying in a pile of what I think is its blood. It's all green and stuff. No! Wait! It's alive! It's making this wheezing sound! Please come quick!"

Ina blacked out.

When Ina awoke, she was lying in a cage. It was very loud outside the cage. Ina could hear a symphony of animal sounds from the bark of a dog to the screech of a parrot. She was confused for a moment, but then all the events of the day came back to her. She must have passed out. But why was she in a cage surrounded by animals? She began to scream for help.

The Animal Control Center is on the 12th floor of Apartment F, and has soundproof barriers that drown out all sound as to not annoy the residents on neighboring floors. The soundproof barriers work so well that the 12th floor is the quietist in the whole building. So nobody would hear Ina's cries no matter how loud she screamed.

It wasn't until 4:55 when a woman came with food for the animals that Ina's cry was heard. When she realized Ina was human she quickly let her out of her cell.

"I apologize," The women said. "But could you really blame us for the mix up?

"What time is it?" Ina asked, forgetting about the incident. She had a Super Cool Awesome Epic Messenger's Club to get into.

"4:58" the women answered after checking her watch.

"Oh shoot. Got to run! Bye!" Ina took off, got tired, and walked the rest of the way out of Animal Control and to Apartment Q.

When she got to the Apartment Q lobby, she made a beeline for the elevator.

"Heck with the rules," she muttered as she stepped inside. She clicked the button that said "R"

Ina arrived on the roof of the Apartment Q only to find that the door leading to the outside was locked. Ina didn't have time for locked doors, so she broke the glass window. She then climed onto the roof and stood near the ledge and screamed with all her might.

"MESSENGER'S ARE BETTER THAN YOU! THEY ROCK! THEY ARE AWESOME! YOU WISH YOU WERE ONE! YEAH!" Ina took off her jacket and threw it over the edge to prove her point.

When Ina got back to the lobby, she was greeted by the messengers. Feedme was holding her jacket and they all had big smiled on their faces.

"Did you really think," asked Feedme. "That anyone could hear you from fifty stories up? There's no messenger's club. We were just pranking you."

"What? Why would you do that?" Ina was very confused.

"Because," answered Feedme as she handed Ina back her jacket. "You're the rookie, dear. Welcome to the team."

As Ina walked back to her apartment it occurred to her that she never did get that message to the mayor.


End file.
